Nerves

I am so fucking nervous.

Today is my first shift at my new job, it's only 3 hours for training but I'm still a little stressed. I want to make a good impression and I want to get as much learning done as possible. I hope they have the paper work ready for me to get it done now, and will set up some sort of schedule for the coming week. I just... feel like the first day of school or something all over again.

In other news I appear to missing the back 'o' ring from my right earing... I hope it's in my bed. It's not a huge deal cause these are kinda temporary before I put these nice black kinda organic looking things... I should take a pic of them. I just needed to get my holes a little bigger. The new earrings are suposed to be a 4, but I think they're a little more to a 3 or even a 2. So I got a set of more or less 3's to get my ears up to that (the nice new ones aren't really gradually tapered, they were too hard to get in).

So I'm in Anthropology class, being tired, and nervous, and kinda sick (god damnit) and not paying a lot of attention because she's got a powerpoint up which means I don't need to take too many notes. ^-^

Last night was crazy. I got out of class and headed down to Anderson to meet my Mom to go to the mall and look for shoes and shirts for work. We found some steel blue shirts that will do the trick for work for tonight, not sure what other colour exactly I need for the green and red shirts, I guess I'll find out tonight and go shopping tommorow/tonight maybe for some. We'll have to see. Anyway, after I we got the shirts we checked every shoe store in the mall and found nothing.

So we went to a place on Heritage, but there weren't any dress shoes that I wanted/fit the bill. I did get new sneakers, which is nice cause these ones are kinda falling apart. :p But we ended up going to a couple stores in Shawnessy to find shoes and eventually I got a pair I liked. Yay. We grabbed som McDonalds (cause it was like 7 and we were hungry) and ate that on the way home. And something was of course wrong with my burger and I got kinda sick. But it's gone.

I do have a cold though, and apparently sometime during the night I started to choke on something as a result. I woke up with my throat almost completely closed, casping like mad, with a terrible sound that scared the fuck out of my dog. After like 40 seconds, I managed to cough and breath enough, and could lie down and just try to get my breath, but I think I passed out and just went from there to sleep. It was very odd none the less and screwed by throat up something good. So I've got a bag of Halls with me.

I finished my essay last night, and it's all ready to go. I think it's a good read, I hope it gets a good mark. :S I'm always a little nervous when I hand these thigns in.

Anyway, I gotta go here. Notes and all.

Punkrawk4all's darkside uncovered at 8:59 AM 3 comments

An eventful day, an eventful update

Well, yesterday was very hectic. I went to class, then stright to job interviews, then home to work on my paper, one right after the other. I was exhausted by the end of it and went to bed around 10, which is REALLY early for me. Anyway, heres the crazy rundown.

I got up early to do my hair and makeup to wear to the job interviews and managed to get to school on time. I was tired and had a hell of a time staying awake in Anthro course, but I made it through and headed to my Phil tutorial. That was short because we just discussed the essay we're writting for Friday and nobody had done the readings so there wasn't anything to talk about there. After that got out I grabed lunch (yes at like 10:30 am) because I wasn't going to have time to eat later and headed over to my Arky class. That ended up being a movie because the prof is still sick and couldn't talk very well.

I raced out to the train but it came early so I missed it and ended up being 10 minutes late. I had to call the woman who was giving me my first interview and tell her I was running late. She said that was fine and when I got to the mall and had changed into the rest of my clothes for the interview and stuff I showed up just a bit late.

The first interview was for Final Touch, which is sorta a jewlery/clothing store. They offered me $8.50 an hour but mentioned they had a fairly high maintanece clinetel that's been going to that store for years. Apparently some come in and just say "Dress me". So I figured for $8.50 that's not worth it.

The next interview was at House of Knives. They were very elusive about how much they would pay me but I eventually dragged it out of the guy and he said it's $7.50 unless you train at another store they own and work both places, then you get $8. That was a huge downside for that job but there were upsides. The guy who did my interview was interested in D&D and such and we spent the whole time getting off track on that and the interview took an hour. He said he was only reccomending me for the job to the manager and we set up a second interview. He also mentioned that I would be an assistant manager by summer because he was leaving, and thats a two dollar raise. But I'd heard bad things about the management and the fact that they weren't forthcoming with information was not a good sign.

The thing is, the whole time I was at these interviews I had a guaranteed job at Fruits and Passion who had called the night before and said "Are you interested? When can you start?" and they paid $8 with lots of chances for raises and advancement. The people seemed nicer, more organized, and were definatly more forthcoming with information.

I eventually took the job at Fruits and Passion, the place is nicer and more inviting to work in and frankly, I can talk about D&D with my friends I don't NEED it at work. Besides the uniform (or real lack of one) at Fruits and passion is a nice change. Plus it smells nice and I'm more likely to use the discount, especially for gifts for friends.

So I start Fri and work from 5-8 to start my training. I need to guy buy a blue shirt tonight and then work on my essay which is due tommorow.

I thought I had an Anthro test tommorow, but it's NEXT Friday. :p I got a little confused! ^-^ But it's all sorted out now and that makes me very happy!

Theres this looming shadow of doom though... well two actually. The first is a cold I'm developing, but I'm thinking it wouldn't be a bad one, just not great when starting a job. The second is the time conflicts and stress that could come from this job and school... I'm still not wholey sure I actually have time. I hope I can juggle the two and still maybe see my friends, and particularly James. (Sorry guys, but the boyfriend gets priority, I love everyone else too, but there are certain perks to being in a relationship).

Heres hoping can make everything work.

Punkrawk4all's darkside uncovered at 9:32 AM 5 comments

Job insanity

Holy crap. I just got handed a job. Like a perfect job.

Tonight just after dinner as I was getting things together for my job interviews tommorow I got a call from Fruits and Passion (an upscale version of Body Shop) and they asked if I was still interested in a position, I said yes. They asked when I could start. That's right, I got handed a job right then. BUt I had to tell her I would call her back after my interviews tommorow.

The job at Fruits and Passion though would relly fit well, it's the right hours good pay with chances for bonuses and raises based on performance, it's to work at two stores, advancement is all within the company and pretty frequent and its nice product. They seem really eager to have me so I can work the hours into my favor. Just gotta be careful.

Anyway, I need to get to work on an essay here, see ya later.

Punkrawk4all's darkside uncovered at 9:36 PM 0 comments

With great power comes great responsibility.

I've spent a good deal of time lately contemplating freedom of speech and what it means, and last night I finally came to some kinda of summery statement on the topic.

With great power comes great responsibility.

Words are the most powerful tools of mankind. They have been used to move nations to and from war, towards and away from hatred and into and tru great conflict. This is why people fight so hard for freedom of speech and why everyone should have this right.

Yet these powerful tools cannot be weilded without great thought. We've seen through the rather poignent example of the imfamous Muhammad cartoons exactly how responsible we need to be when we have free speech.

Yes, those artists had the right to draw those cartoons, yes the newspapers had the right to publish them, but does that make it right to do it? Why would you WANT to insult another religion? Why would you WANT to publish such propaganda? We look back now on the hate campaigns of Hitler and shake our heads in shame, yet we turn around and do the same to what we see as a socially acceptable target. Someday, and not too far in the future, people will look back on this and shake thier heads in shame.

But not all will. Sadly, these cartoons and the blatent disreguard for decency and human civility that caused them have now been APPROVED to a certain extend within society. Children now see these insults as acceptable, so long as they aren't the vitims of them. How could any responsible person be so careless as to ignore not only the rights to religion of another but then to teach the coming leaders of our society that it is acceptable to do so?

I'm not saying you can't have an opinion, I'm not saying you can't publish it, but you need to be responsible. I could have come one here and screamed that all white newspaper owners were sadists and should be hanged for staining society in such a way, which may or may not be how I feel, but I have a responsibility, yes even on a little out of the way blog, to uphold certain standards of humanity.

I have no right to disreguard the rights of others. I have the power of words and I have a responsibility to myself and to all of you to use them wisely. To publish my opinion in a tasteful manner that does not insult or defame, rather sways or persuades based soley on the validity of the argument istelf, not any slurs I could accompany it with.

I by no means believe in media censorship, but sadly, it is to a certain extent required because certain people have no grasped that thier words can hold so much power as to spark riots, increase hatred, and provoke violence and thus they must use thier words carefully. Until we have mastered the concept of media responsibilty, censorship and guidelines will have to in some way exist.

Our right to free speech is supposed to be restrained by the rights of others to freedom of speech, religion and the right to human decency. This is a classic system of checks and balances. I do not mean that if you insult them, they can insult you, this is not balance, it is a vicious circle of attacks. Rather I mean that a person with an insulting view of another is supposed to reflect on the rights of the other party and on how they would feel if thier own righs were to be infringed on and thus come to a conclusion that the negative view, if it must be published, should be handled responsibly and gingerly.

I know I've written somewhat on this topic before, but I feel it bears repeating, as does this one point:

With great power comes great responsibility, and with freedom of speech comes responsibility to humanity.

Punkrawk4all's darkside uncovered at 9:30 AM 2 comments

Wow... things just got really busy.

So ya, remember how I was thinking I had lots of time etc... ya... about that...

I have an essay due on Thursday, so I'm trying to get that done a little early. Because Wednesday is now going to be stupidly busy. After class on Wed I gotta rush over to the mall at go t two job interviews, one at Final Touch (Jewelery store)and the other at House of Knives. Then I gotta get my laptop, which will finally be ready on Wed, and then hopefully have time to go to Gamers Guild. Lets hope. If my essay isn't done I'll have to stay home and work on it.

The problem with the essay is I don't have all the details yet and I might not until Wed morning so I may be working on it Wed after all. Hopefully it will be just minor formatng changes that I can get out of the way quickly, possibly while at the Gamers Guild, maybe when I get home.

Anyway, I gotta get going here and work on this essay, see you all later.

Punkrawk4all's darkside uncovered at 7:15 PM 0 comments

Shoes

This is the picture I just took of the shoes I bought yesterday. I love them. ^_^



Punkrawk4all's darkside uncovered at 5:41 PM 0 comments

Lazy Sunday...

Gah, I am incredibly lazy at the moment. I have to do some homework here, not much, but some and I really just feel like sleeping. Maybe vegging out on the couch and playing Soul Calibur 3 until James comes home from work and then talking to him and myabe playing some Ragnarok Online.

I've had a busy couple of days. For some reason my homework load is really light until about the end of next week so I've had time to socialize this weekend. I was gonna go to Outlaws on Friday night, but I've caught a cold so I decided I need to avoid strenous dancing and smoke. James also didn't feel like he had the energy to go after having 2 midterms and 2 tests on Thurs, so we opted out of that. James couldn't get a hold of the people we needed to RSVP to, hope they aren't mad.

So Friday we planned to just stay in a what a movie and rest-up. But we also decided to go out for dinner, just a quick one at Jack Astors (which is fast becoming "our resturant") before. While there, Guy called and invited us to his place to whatch a movie, rest-up and maybe play a board game. So we got in the car, grabbed Mark and went up there. I felt kinda quilty cause I'd bailed on the thing at Outlaws, but this was still far less strenous. And I got to see Erika again who is leaving at the end of the month to go back to Finland.

We had a great time with Guy and Erika. We watched the Corpse Bride (hehehe, like the 4th time for me...) and the boys played Blood Bowl (the board game). James acutally kinda floated between the game and movie, which was great in his eyes, best of both worlds. ^_^ After we went home I slept right on through till 1 on Sat. I'd told James I would, but he didn't believe me so when his call woke me up at 1, he was kinda surprised.

I just laughed.

So we decided that we should get together and do just something the two of us on Sat since we had time. The original plan was he was gonna come to my place, pick me up, we would go to the mall to run a couple quick errands I had to do and then go back to his place. Well that went through a few transformations. James' brother needed the car to go pick some people up, so James said he would be like like half an hour to an hour late. So I told him to meet me at the mall adn I would run my errands a head of him meeting me. We'll be didn't get the car until about an hour and a half later, and I'd finished my errands and found a cute pair of shoes. (Round toe pumps with a cute ribbon bow on them, pleated leather look and lace around the top edge. It matches some shirts I have and all my skirts ^-^ ) So he finally came and got me and we headed back to his place after getting some groceries.

We had a great time hanging out except for all the times his brother made special trips upstairs to make an ass of himself. He and his friends were doing some drinking and decided we had to give them a ride somehwere, in 10 minutes. James said he would when we were done our movie. They fliped and said they'd call a cab after James' brother threatened to kick James' ass and to drive himself, leaving James carless for work tomorow. The cab turned out to be on of the guys parents.

I'm dreading when James and his brother have to share an apartment this summer. I don't know how James is going to take it. Matthew will only get worse and James gets so depressed over it as it is. He feels responsible for Matthew, and with his Mom gone permentantly to the states... I just don't know what he'll do.

Punkrawk4all's darkside uncovered at 12:40 PM 0 comments